I’m in love! I’m in love again! I fell in love again and again! I just fell in love with her this late night, half asleep alone. I fell in love with her anew after seeing her pictures. But I have seen him before, I have seen him very closely, I have sat next to him, I have walked, I have touched him, I like him, I have liked him a lot. But I knew that feeling good, falling in love and falling in love is never the same, it doesn’t happen, it can’t happen.

But today, feeling really good and leaving love behind, I fell in love with her. It is true that I did not fall in love with her before today. Honestly, today, looking at his pictures late at night, remembering his memories, those moments and moments of spending a lot of time with him, I fell deeply in love with him.

Nah, although she is not a woman, nor is she a beautiful beauty made of flesh and blood. Yet to me she is far more attractive than any woman, always regretting and praying. She is dragging me to her much more than any flesh-and-blood Ruposhi is entangling me in Maya.

But now, at this moment, at this point that I have no way to get anything out of it. Sadh and Sadhya may somehow be able to match. But for the time being my disobedient love to the environment, situation, sociality and cruel reality is being defeated. I am so helpless at this moment. I have fallen into such a helpless and indescribable indescribable misery.

Disobedient, supernatural and crazy loves are probably like that. Pulling like a magnet, shattering the attraction, shattering old memories, making the pictures restless and disobedient. The longing to see him, the desire to touch him, makes him insane and restless in the rush to run to him. Sitting quietly beside him, staring at him.

Yet he cannot be touched, he cannot be found beside, he cannot be seen with two eyes, he cannot be insane with his gentle caress, he is far, far away. And I’m far, far away from that. Hundreds, not thousands of miles away. Yet why and how did he force me to fall in love with him.

I first met him, going from Srinagar to the insane Pahelgam. Long before entering Pahelgam, when the path was almost flat. The car was speeding towards Pahelgam. From a distance, I saw rows and rows of green hills. Clouds float in the folds of the hill, somewhere in the open verandah of a hill standing in groups of white clouds. There were two eyes on that side. Suddenly, in the middle of the journey, a melody of jhamjham sound came and started ringing in my ears.

At that moment, from the mountain, from the group of white clouds hovering over the mountain, the strange form of an unknown river rushing to the foot of the mountain with its eyes connected to the ears and the silence of its eternal youthful voice began to float. Just stare and stare for a while. Just the sound of rimming, rumbling and various kinds of music began to play in the ears, the melody changed with time. There was no need to be hypnotized at that moment.

The driver informed that the leader river started. The leader is the stream of water that is running through the middle of the two mountains. Welcome gift from Pahelgam. The source of Pahelgam’s wonder, Pahelgam’s love and Pahelgam’s unearthly form. And when I reached Pahelgam, I went to Aru Valley of unbearable happiness and saw him, seeing the form of the leader on the plains of Betab Valley, I was convinced that this leader, this river of leader has made Pahelgam crazy Pahelgam. I don’t know what else for this leader, but to me Pahelgam crazy, just for this leader.

Because such mountains, different forms of mountains, variations, running in groups of clouds in the mountains, climbing the rough steps of the green hills, reaching the snow-capped peaks through the hard steps of the rough hills are found, seen, found in many places.

But in just one Pahelgam, this leader’s river, moment by moment, twists and turns, the folds of the mountain, the change of his form after a while, the change of his melody, the jingle of his laughter, his unearthly charm, his mad hypnosis can be found nowhere else. No, no, at least I didn’t go down without explaining myself first.

Somewhere between the leader’s hill and the plain, a faint melody spreads the softness of his form, somewhere the leader’s melody flows between the two hills, somewhere the leader’s melody on the rocks shouts, somewhere the leader’s melody rises at a different bend, somewhere from the top of the leader’s hill. It came down with a jingle, somewhere the leader came down as a fountain humming and somewhere the leader’s happiness, somewhere the leader’s melody went up with pain.

One by one the leader is caught in one form. He composed different melodies, painted different pictures, spread different colors, fell in love with each other, wondered how he came to be close again and left in a hurry. Tonight is the day to spend the night with him in the colors, styles, melodies and faint days, moments and moments are vividly remembered, memories cry for him in the window, the pictures are burning me, the regret of not being able to run away from him makes me cringe.

That means so. I fell in love with her. He liked it very much at first. Seeing him up close, sitting, walking, spending time and getting his touch made me feel better. But I did not fall in love with her. But today his p

I fell in love. Looking at the pictures, the memory groped, surprised, unknowingly. In this way one can fall in love, fall in love, be swept away by the tide of love.

In love with the river, in love with Pahelgam, in love with the leader.